Quick Update

I hope to post more about Christmas later today...but for now- Cat is fine. I still can't sleep. My fingers are still a bit numb and sensitive, but there don't appear to be any imminent systemic shutdowns. I'll be back later for more.

Can't Sleep

Uuuggghhh...It's 3:16 in the morning. I woke up at 2:26. Jacob wasn't crying, the cats weren't playing. I just woke up. Several things went through my mind as I tried to fall back asleep. The first was that the cat was still on the foot of the bed. I always get worried about her at Christmas time. She likes to eat ribbon, and in general, there is none in the house, but at Christmas- well, sometimes we forget. So, after a few vomitting incidents yesterday with her, I'm really hoping she hasn't eaten ribbon and become obstructed. If she's still off tomorrow, I'll take her temp. If it's elevated, pray for the cash cow to visit me because she's going to cost an arm and a leg. Sigh.

The second thought was that I didn't feel that well. My friend came over today and I highlighted her hair. I didn't use the glove, because they were driving me insane. Stupid. Truly. So, of course my thumb and forefinger burned like crazy from being exposed to bleach constantly. Now that I'm awake, I've decided that I don't feel well because the bleach soaked through my pores and is now systemically affecting me. Ridiculous.

Also- I see that my husband has purchased several gifts for me afer we agreed NOT to do Christmas (present wise) this year. I have no idea what to get him, and feel awful that all he'll have is gloves and boxers under the tree. Hmmmm....a fashion show idea??

Finally- at this time exactly 5 months ago I was finally holding Jacob in my arms. He was born at 1:21, but I didn't get to hold him until just about 2 hours after he was born. I can't believe my little man is 5 months old already. He was such a good boy today. I was busy all day, but he was quite patient in his chair or exersaucer most of the time. He also had ample laps to sit on.

Alright. My eyes are burning and I feel tired. Hopefully I can go lay down and count horses jumping over fences back down to sleep. Merry Christmas Eve.

I think I'm addicted

Suddenly, all I can think of is topics to write about on this blog. I feel like I have so much catching up to do!! I'll just deal with the present for now though, and catch up as I go when the time feels right.

I've turned off the TV and Jacob is tucked in his bed. The little lights on the tree are gleaming like they belong in a jewelery store. I can hear the trickle of the cats water fountain, and the stomping of my husbands size 13 feet on the roof above. He's out shoveling off the roof on the front of the house. The pitch is almost negligible, and the shingles are even more so...so without shoveling, lots of leaks due to ice dams.

Or so he says. I am totally mechanically, architecturally, and any other "ally" DIS-inclined. I only like to know how living things work- not inanimate objects. My husband can fix anything. He knows how things work. If you watch Heroes- he's Sylar- only with objects. He dismantles anything he doesn't understand, and learns it. It's fascinating and completely annoying and exhausting all at once.

My friends sometimes refer to him as MacGyver. If he doesn't have tools to fix something with- he makes tools. Anytime somebody needs help- they call Mike....When we first met, I thought it was his most endearing quality. After a while, it drove me insane. Now, I respect and admire it again. I understand why he is the way he is, and why he does the things he does.

Over the past 10 years of being together, our love has had many ups and downs. We met when we were 19, and began dating when I was turning 21. He had 3 girlfriends before me...I had just dumped my first "real" boyfriend of 2 weeks so I could date Mike. We had so much learning before us, but we thought we knew it all.

I'm glad I can say that after all we have been through, I am so deeply committed to him. I love him fully and confidently. I know him so well, and likewise him for me. It could be boring- and maybe sometimes it is- but in the end we are so right for each other. He cares for me, spoils me, lets me loose when need be, reins me in when I need it...I make him laugh, I support his choices, I remind him to look at the other perspective...

So many times, we could have thrown in the towel like so many other Americans do nowadays. But we kept at it, and now have been blessed with a deeper love than most will ever know. We have a beautiful baby we both are insanely in love with, a cozy house that was rebuilt by my husbands hands and 7 acres out back to play on when time allows.

Today while out shopping- Jacob is murmuring himself to sleep in the car. I smile, and say to Mike-

Me- " I was thinking the other day..."
Mike- "yeah?"
Me- "I was thinking, you know how when Jacob smiles at us, or lets us hear that belly laugh he has... "
Mike- "yeah?"
Me- "well, you know how we get all over emotional and get a little tear in our eye?"
Mike- "yeah?"
Me- "what on earth are we going to do when he says Momma or Dadda the first time?"
Mike- pause...gulp..." Well, I guess I'm going to have even more tears in my eye than I do right now"
Me- "I know..."

We reached over and squeezed each others hand. We avoided eye contact, so that seeing each others tears wouldn't send us into a delve of silly sniffles and red eyes.

I wrote the title of this blog with the blog itself in mind.

But now I realize, it applies to my husband even more so. Hopelessly addicted.



Me and Mike in Spain- on top of the world. Our last vacation before Jacob's cycle.

Christmas At Last

Well, it's almost here. For years I've been wondering- What will Christmas be like with a child? Now that we've been blessed with little Jacob, I will finally know. He will be 5 months old on Christmas Eve, so this year won't mean much to him...but to Mike and I, I know it's going to bring a tear (or two) to our eyes. I can't tell you how many times I've envisioned the three of us posing in front of the tree. How many times I walked by stockings and so badly wished I had to buy a new one.

So, now we have our picture, and we have our new stocking, complete with a monogram pin even! We even have a family of reindeer stocking holder set for the three of us now. Jacob could care less about all this, but I never allow myself to forget the feelings of emptiness we had the last 3 Christmas seasons. I hold everything I do for him so close to my heart because of it. Not a single day goes by that I don't look at him with amazement and awe.

We are so blessed...now I can't wait to hear the pitter patter of footy pajama feet running into our room exclaiming for us to get up because Santa Claus has come. There is so much to look forward to, so much to be thankful for, and so much I already look back in fondness about. It already seems like a year ago I held him in my arms the first time...


I've posted the message my nurse left for me last year when I found out I was pregnant with Jacob. I've kept it all this time to never ever forget the joy and elation I felt that day. It still brings tears to my eyes.

Revitalized

I keep trying my best to use this blog. I used to love writing, but sadly, many things in my life have forced that pleasure to the wayside. As I type right now, Jacob is grumbling in his crib. Not to say he is the reason I stopped- that all came crumbling down years before he arrived!! Are there mommy writers out there who can actually separate mommydom and writerhood? No matter, ever since I had Jacob, my IQ has dropped at least 20 points and my vocabulary has plummeted. It's hard to stay in the swing of things when you spend your days saying "oooooie you silly goose man" and singing silly made up songs. You know you are in trouble when you can't come up with a word that rhymes with day that fits the song....